


Burn Them

by Gadhar



Series: Lee Equals Ballet with Different Versions [1]
Category: Expendables (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Lee used to be a dancer, M/M, Mentions of past, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 19:17:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2281500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gadhar/pseuds/Gadhar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's not complaining.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burn Them

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Calacious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calacious/gifts).



> Another version of the ballet idea for Lee's past. This one is much darker and more angstier than my other one, [Ballet Tights.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2277375)
> 
> Still hope it is enjoyable.

Lee stumbles into the room, his usual grace gone and, at first, Barney wonders if he's drunk. 

But then the Brit curses and says, "What the fuck are you? 16?" So Barney thinks maybe his room is just that much of an obstacle course. 

"You got a problem?" Barney asks as he hits the pause button on the remote. 

Lee just gives him a look. 

Lee tiptoes into the room more and eventually flops down on the bed next to Barney, kicking the few files and books Barney had open on to the floor. 

"I swear you're worse than a teenager." 

"Well, it's not like you kicking my stuff around helps any." Barney wrenches a book out from under Lee, one he apparently missed, and closes it carefully before setting it on the windowsill. 

The entire time Lee stares at him like he has two heads. 

"You're so weird." 

Barney rolls his eyes in favor of an answer, propping himself up as Lee sinks down lower next to him. 

He's about to ask Lee what he wants when he's beaten to it. 

"What are you watching?" 

It's so quiet Barney's surprised he even heard it. 

Something cold and heavy settles in his stomach but he ignores it, following Lee's wide-eyed gaze back to the television. 

He'd nearly forgotten about that. 

"They're just some old tapes," Barney says, but it's not like he really needs to tell Lee that. 

Lee already knows what they are. 

"Wh-what...where did you get these?" 

"A friend." Barney starts patting around for the remote, swallowing around the lump in his throat. 

He'd always planned on showing these to Lee, someday. But he always feared the very reaction he's getting. 

"Look, Lee, don't worry about it. I'll just turn-" 

Lee grabs his wrist as he goes to hit the power button. 

Lee's shaking a little, shivering really, and his eyes are foggy with memories. 

Barney can't tel if they're good ones or not. 

"I'm sorry, I just..." He trails off, unsure what to say. Lee never talked about it. What happened. And Barney's made a point to never ask, but he got the tapes a long time ago and he didn't feel right throwing them away then and he still doesn't now. 

"I got a call, right after it happened. It was someone who had been in charge of the cleanup, a friend. Anyway, he, uh, couldn't get a hold of you. Thought maybe I could, so he sent them along to me. I thought I'd keep them. Just in case." 

Lee nods, letting go of Barney's wrist and pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. 

"Do you wanna talk about it? You never said...I can just throw 'em away. I'll burn them. The tapes. If that's what you want. I'll do it." 

"No, just..." Lee sighs as his hands drop to his lap. He stares at the T.V., a quivering to his jaw that makes Barney think he's resisting the urge to put something through it. 

"It was my sister. Well, she was _like_ my sister. She was getting married and she needed money so I- I did something stupid and got it for her. There were these guys, they used to run their business out of the school I was at, and they- they often used the other dancers for things. I owed them. And they wanted me to steal something. From this ballet enthusiast with a penchant for young men. I was prime bait." 

Lee takes a moment to breathe and there's anger swamping his features, brutal ugly rage that Barney rarely glimpses. 

"But I wouldn't...it went bad. They killed her, my sister, and her fiance, right in the fucking studio. Right there in the school. _Right..."_

_In front of me,_ Barney finishes in his thoughts and is glad to know those fuckers are dead. He helped put the bullets through their skulls himself. 

It was the first time he met Lee. Never even knew his name back then. But he had never known the full story. Everything had happened before he got there. 

He was too late. 

Like usual. 

Lee had burned everything to the ground afterwards, and disappeared. 

"She filmed these," Lee says after a long silence and Barney cringes at how cold he sounds. 

"Why are you...?" Lee gestures and Barney thinks there could be multiple endings to that question. 

He settles on one and says, "I think they're beautiful to watch. I still see it sometimes, you know? When you fight, hell, every time you move, I see the dancer. Just a little. I think it's a tragedy they took it from you. And I'm sorry for that." 

And he is, he truly is. Even if not having that taken from Lee would mean never meeting him, never working with him, never loving him. 

Barney's still sorry. 

He thinks Lee probably would've been happier. Probably would have went on to be famous, be in hundreds of shows, maybe even the _Nutcracker._ And he'd have a family, still be close to his sister. And maybe, one year, Barney would stumble into one of his shows, just cause, and he would see Lee, twirling about the stage. 

Barney thinks that would have happened. And even though he's sorry, he's not quite sure he regrets that he has Lee here instead. 

"You miss it?" Barney asks, even though he already knows the answer. 

But Lee surprises him and says, "No." A smile curling the corner of his mouth. "I never lost it." He says. 

Barney wonders what he means until Lee looks at him with a crooked grin. 

"So you think I'm beautiful?" 

"I said I think _its_ beautiful. The appeal would be ruined if Gunner did it or something, but..." 

They both laugh and Lee sinks even lower onto the bed, curling Barney's arm around himself. 

"Play it," Lee says and Barney does. 

And if Lee never tells him to burn the tapes, the last reminder of his past, well, Barney isn't complaining. 


End file.
